L.O.L

• PRETTY WOMAN
  

A  wife ask her husband: 

"Which do you like about me the most? My beautiful face or my body."

Her husbands answers, "Hmmmn... Your sense of humor."

• WHO DISCOVERED AMERICA?
  

The teacher asks her: "This is a world map. Who can  point out where is America?" Jack goes to the front of the map and points out the position of America.
The the teacher asks: "Tell me children, who discovered America?" The children answer: "Jack!"

• SIGNATURE
  

Son: "Father, can you close your eyes and write your name?"
Father: "Of course, I can. That's easy!"
Son: "Then, please close your eyes and sign my report card?"

• TWO GOOD REASONS
  

A mother urges her son to get up to go to school. 
Her son says: "I don't want to go."
"And why not?"
"Two reasons: the children hate me and teachers do not like me."
"Son, you have to go. First, you're 45 years old. Secondly, you're the principal." 

Breaking News!

CNN reports that gas stations will start showing PORN movies on the screens of the pumps so that you can see someone else get screwed at the same time you are !!

LOVE IS LIKE A TATTOO...

... you take the risk, face the pain and yet place it in a special part of you. and when the time comes that you need to erase it, you have to endure again the pain.and realize that it will forever leave a scar.... a scar that will alays remind you, that you once had a tattoo... a tattoo that for sometime symbolized something so special.