what becomes me

pasukan na naman sa school next month. umpisa na ng enrolment kaya umpisa na rin ako magkamot ng mga di dapat kamutin sa kaiisip kung pano mairaraos ang mga napipintong gastusin.

times like this nakakapag wish ako na sana maisip man lang ako ng dalawang choromosome donors ng mga bagets ko. kaso sigurado din ako na malabo pa sa imburnal ang maisip nilang magpadala ng sustento sa akin. susmaryosep! baka nga malaki pa ang chance na umulan ng snow dito sa pilipinas kesa magkaroon sila ng konsensya na tulungan man lang ako sa pagpapa-aral ng mga bata.

graduating na ang dalawang bagets ko. next year matatapos na ng high school at elementary si kev at ziah. hayss...sana bulagain ako ng mga tatay nila at tumulong kahit magpadala man lang sana ng pambili ng intermediate pad o kaya lapis na mongol. eh ayos na rin yun kesa wala. pero kung hindi naman eh ok lang at wala akong magagawa. (IPISIN sana mga bayag nilaaaaaaa!!!*%^&!?$!#@)

"child support"? such a sweet but strange word for me. the punishing lashes of its absence from my children respective dads have thought me how to face the world with strength, toughness and wit. it's i who fixes literally ALL the problems (that includes, electrical, plumbing, etc.) and i lift things that nobody can for us. i have been forced to protect my kids and myself because if i dont, no one will. i have learned that i have to stand my ground because if i don't, others will sweep me away. i do all the things a "father" is supposed to do. it's even i who decides on difficult problem.

kunsabagay, maybe i ought to thank them for throwing me into a situation where i am forced to fend for myself and develop my potentials. pero di ko yata sila mapapatawad ever for not being there when my children needed them most and for corrupting the times that could have been for them. sabi ko nga kahit wag na ako ang isipin...yung sa mga bata na lang sana. awww!! biglang emote ako a! lol!

nanalamin ako kanina lang. syet! napansin ko nagiging kutis-betlog na ang mukha ko. sa katitipid ko eh di na ako nakakabili ng moisturizer ko. buti na lang pinadalhan ako ni prendship Erwin of new york ng Oil of Olay complete moisturizer. mabanat kaya neto ang nagiging kutis-betlog kong face? abangan!

sa kaiisip ko ng solusyon kung papano ko mabubuo ang pang enrol ko ng mga anak ko... pati tuloy pakipag pustahan sa larong Literati sa YM eh pinatulan ko na. nyahahaha! nakalaban ko kahapon si papa J kaso olats naman ako. ang sama pa ng loob ko nung natalo ako kasi kinarir ko talaga yung laban. hahaha.

sa mga panahon na ganito, mahirap man eh kunswelo ko lang talaga ng walang halong istir eh ang mga anak ko. gapang man ang beauty ko eh di naman sayang pagpapa aral ko kasi matitino sila sa school. satisfied ako sa mga grades na nakukuha nila at hindi rin mga pala-absent. infact yung girl ko eh consistent yun na may special award na most behaved at most punctual sa klase. hehehe! sino ba naman ang hindi magiging most punctual eh during school days, tulog pa yata si Lord eh gising na si ziah at 5:15am at naliligo na. wala akong kahirap-hirap sa pag gising sa kanila at may mga kusa.

sa mga kapareho kong magulang... let me share u some of my fave quotes re: raising children; parenthood

"You have a lifetime to work, but children are only young once."~ Polish Proverb
"Don't handicap your children by making their lives easy."~Robert A. Heinlein
"Too often we give children answers to remember rather than problems to solve." ~Roger Lewin
"If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders." ~Abigail Van Buren
"What's done to children, they will do to society." ~Karl Menninger
"In bringing up children, spend on them half as much money and twice as much time." ~Author Unknown
"A child, like your stomach, doesn't need all you can afford to give it." ~Frank A. Clark
"There are no illegitimate children - only illegitimate parents."~Leon R. Yankwich
"When you teach your son, you teach your son's son." ~The Talmud
"The secret of dealing successfully with a child is not to be its parent." ~Mell Lazarus
"Good, honest, hardheaded character is a function of the home. If the proper seed is sown there and properly nourished for a few years, it will not be easy for that plant to be uprooted." ~George A. Dorsey
"The guys who fear becoming fathers don't understand that fathering is not something perfect men do, but something that perfects the man. The end product of child raising is not the child but the parent." ~Frank Pittman, Man Enough
"Smack your child every day. If you don't know why - he does."~Joey Adams

" There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it." ~Chinese Proverb
"Give me the life of the boy whose mother is nurse, seamstress, washerwoman, cook, teacher, angel, and saint, all in one, and whose father is guide, exemplar, and friend. No servants to come between. These are the boys who are born to the best fortune." ~Andrew Carnegie
"If you want your children to improve, let them overhear the nice things you say about them to others." ~Haim Ginott
"Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children." ~Charles R. Swindoll, The Strong Family
"There are two lasting bequests we can give our children. One is roots. The other is wings." ~Hodding Carter, Jr.
"Simply having children does not make mothers." ~John A. Shedd
"If you have never been hated by your child you have never been a parent." ~Bette Davis